Mozzer Prozzer in the Neepsend

Kate Mozzer, the drugged up, skinny model has now turned prozzer it has aledgedly been revealed by a punter today. She has recently, reportedly moved out of her £1million penthouse apartment in West London and slumped into a back-alley near Neepsend, Sheffield.

Jeff Jefferson said he couldn’t believe his luck as he pulled up near the Crystal Suite looking for a lady of the night for his weekley servicing, not to be greeted by his usual black-eyed white-stillettoed sullen-faced type, but the top international model Mozzer!

“I could scarecley believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. I asked her how much she charged and she said to lick a dick a nicker. I thought she was rapping or summat. Anyway I gave her a copper for a feel of her two penny bit for a fiver and she threw in a flash of her threppnies for free, but they were neither here no there to be honest. Anyway we got chatting and she explained that she’s moved to Sheffield because the drugs were so cheap!  and she liked the Arctic Monkeys.

I asked her if her pimp was that lack-lustre, near-do-well lead singer of that pop group ‘shambolic toddler’. She said she was meeting him off the number 82 to Lowedges. I was amazed.”

Once the face of Rimmer London and now getting picked up in Ford Cortina by wierdos just to shoot up into Neepsend – is a steep learning curve for anyone. Lets hope living in Sheffield finally brings happiness for the hapless glamour puss.

By Cat Onion News Team