The Incredible Shrinking Tom

It’s official – Tom Cruise is shrinking! Thomas Cruise was nearly 5ft 6in when dating Nicole Kidman over 15 years ago has been shrinking an average of over an inch every year. Experts have said it is rare and strange sizeamorphic deficiency phenomenon known as titchyitis!

Tiny Toms shrinkage has directly been in correlation with his success over the years, as he has become more popular and become more successful as an actor over the years since his first movie, it has become apparent that he has become a smaller and smaller actor.

“Tom has said to be very upset at his shrinkage,” Jeff Jefferson, told Cat Onion and has been warned by the time he is 50 if his success continues as an actor he might even only be the size of a pepper grinder about 7 inches. This is a very rare condition indeed and only effects thirty three known people at the moment.

Doctors have also warned the shrimp, Cruise, that with his partners getting younger and younger is not helping and will actually speed up the process. By the time the child he is having with his latest movie star girlfriend Kate Homes is five the child will actually be taller than Tomas himself and may even be able to give him piggy backs.

Although minature Tom has expressed concerns over this, he has said “I love Kate, I just hope she won’t accidently tread on me by the time I am well into my sixties, and I am hoping to pick up more smaller peoples film roles in the future! Like a remake of Tom Thumb directed by myself and my old mate Speilusberger”

By Cat Onion News Team